Monday, May 18, 2015

Mothers- My experts

Participating in Godrej My first expert on Indiblogger, Linked to
Mothers are our first experts and we rely on them even before we are born, because she is the one who brings us to the world. I never saw my mother as I lost her the same day I opened my eyes. The doctors had given her a choice to save herself or me. She chose to save me. My father played the role of mom and dad both and never made me feel alone, till I started going to school and saw moms dropping their kids to school. My grannies (both daadi and naani) stepped into my mom’s shoes to nurture me. At times my aunts (bua or mausi) would drop in during my school vacations to look after me. I have seen so many women playing the role of mothers in my life. I learnt lessons from each one of their contribution.

Most of our holiday trips to nearby hill stations during my summer vacations were fun for everybody because of my Mausi. “Why did you pack warm clothes? Its summers!” I often heard my dad pulling her leg. “Weather of hill stations is funny. We may need woolens any time you see,” my Mausi used to reply with utmost confidence, as if God had told her in person about the weather changes. Her expertise in predicting the weather proved to be right always. I still follow the golden hill-station rule of Mausi and get saved!

People say that my Mausi resembled my Mother. I saw my mom's picture from her youth. I was excited to see so much resemblance in the sister's faces. Apparently I relied on her for my homework, my dressing up, holiday projects and every little thing. She took me in her warm embrace when I went to her crying about the first blood stains on my clothes. She taught me how a teen grows up with these natural changes in body and how I should carry myself. My first lessons of personal hygiene came from Mausi. The memories are still fresh in my mind.
Its true mothers are worriers by nature. They tend to over think  because they care. Their concern for others converts into stress. While bua’s stress and concern for me brought us closer, it did upset me many a times. A call in the middle of an interview or at any odd hour, did irritate at times but it was more than welcome because I would do the same whenever I missed her. Bua has been the kindest soul who guided me each time and taught me to be fearless. She advised me to raise a hue & cry or even slap a guy if eve-teased. On one instance she thrashed our neighborhood’s boy for passing lewd comments on teen girls. I felt sorry for the guy. Perhaps he was only humming a Bollywood item number. Since that incident, he was never heard singing again and I learnt to confront such situations bravely, guarding my dignity. Thanks to my motherly Bua who is an expert, just like my mother would be.
I moved to Chandigarh for graduation. Each time I made a trip to my home town, the only person who showed concern, besides making a fuss for my health, was my granny. For some reasons unknown, she always found me mal-nutritioned and thinner than before, as if I was on a weight loss spree (which I was not). I had a hard time convincing her against all the notions that she had convinced herself with. Undoubtedly I lost the debate every time. Yet I loved the attention that I got on those home trips.

Now that I am married and stay far away from all of them, the cycle of care and stress has not stopped. Besides my granny, bua & mausi, now it’s my mother-in-law who keeps worrying about anything and everything. Not only my busy schedule at work gives her stress, my not-eating-right and travelling to work also give her enough reasons to worry. Ouch, wasn’t one mother was enough to do the stress-job?  But I feel blessed to have the company of so many motherly figures around me who have taken care of me like their own kid. God took away my biological mother but blessed me with 3 more ladies, (4th one now is my mom-in-law) so that I don’t feel alone.

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