Mothers- My experts

Participating in Godrej My first expert on Indiblogger, Linked to http://godrejexpert.com/single_used_pack.php

Mothers are our first experts and we rely on them even before we are born, because she is the one who brings us to the world. I never saw my mother as I lost her the same day I opened my eyes. The doctors had given her a choice to save herself or me. She chose to save me. My father played the role of mom and dad both and never made me feel alone, till I started going to school and saw moms dropping their kids to school. My grannies (both daadi and naani) stepped into my mom’s shoes to nurture me. At times my aunts (bua or mausi) would drop in during my school vacations to look after me. I have seen so many women playing the role of mothers in my life. I learnt lessons from each one of their contribution.

Most of our holiday trips to nearby hill stations during my summer vacations were fun for everybody because of my Mausi. “Why did you pack warm clothes? Its summers!” I often heard my dad pulling her leg. “Weather of hill stations is funny. We may need woolens any time you see,” my Mausi used to reply with utmost confidence, as if God had told her in person about the weather changes. Her expertise in predicting the weather proved to be right always. I still follow the golden hill-station rule of Mausi and get saved!

People say that my Mausi resembled my Mother. I saw my mom's picture from her youth. I was excited to see so much resemblance in the sister's faces. Apparently I relied on her for my homework, my dressing up, holiday projects and every little thing. She took me in her warm embrace when I went to her crying about the first blood stains on my clothes. She taught me how a teen grows up with these natural changes in body and how I should carry myself. My first lessons of personal hygiene came from Mausi. The memories are still fresh in my mind.

Its true mothers are worriers by nature. They tend to over think  because they care. Their concern for others converts into stress. While bua’s stress and concern for me brought us closer, it did upset me many a times. A call in the middle of an interview or at any odd hour, did irritate at times but it was more than welcome because I would do the same whenever I missed her. Bua has been the kindest soul who guided me each time and taught me to be fearless. She advised me to raise a hue & cry or even slap a guy if eve-teased. On one instance she thrashed our neighborhood’s boy for passing lewd comments on teen girls. I felt sorry for the guy. Perhaps he was only humming a Bollywood item number. Since that incident, he was never heard singing again and I learnt to confront such situations bravely, guarding my dignity. Thanks to my motherly Bua who is an expert, just like my mother would be.

I moved to Chandigarh for graduation. Each time I made a trip to my home town, the only person who showed concern, besides making a fuss for my health, was my granny. For some reasons unknown, she always found me mal-nutritioned and thinner than before, as if I was on a weight loss spree (which I was not). I had a hard time convincing her against all the notions that she had convinced herself with. Undoubtedly I lost the debate every time. Yet I loved the attention that I got on those home trips.

Now that I am married and stay far away from all of them, the cycle of care and stress has not stopped. Besides my granny, bua & mausi, now it’s my mother-in-law who keeps worrying about anything and everything. Not only my busy schedule at work gives her stress, my not-eating-right and travelling to work also give her enough reasons to worry. Ouch, wasn’t one mother was enough to do the stress-job?  But I feel blessed to have the company of so many motherly figures around me who have taken care of me like their own kid. God took away my biological mother but blessed me with 3 more ladies, (4^th one now is my mom-in-law) so that I don’t feel alone.

The small wish list..

I picked up the folded paper from Tarun’s table and saw names of movies scribbled on it. I was about to trash it when he snatched the paper from my hand and thrust it in his pocket.

“What will you do with this stupid list”? I asked him, cleaning the mess on his table.

“It’s a list of those movies I wanna watch before I turn 25” replied Tarun seriously.

“Are you retiring post you turn 25?” I snapped back.

“There are so many things in life I wanna do. Its just a small wish list before 1/4^th of my life, so that I don’t crib for things I missed”.

I wanted to tell him how I had also made a wish list couple of years back. The only difference was that my wish list consisted of books to read and places to visit. However I didn’t say anything and smiled back at him.

His simple words had depth and lot of meaning in them.

Preeti has always been cribbing about being overweight. God save me whenever she goes for a diet plan. Thanks to internet that she came to know about GMD, an easy way to lose weight without working out. More than her, it was tough for me… (to chop kilos of fruits and vegetables and cook a quantity meant for 5 people. Trust me, it’s horrible!).

“I want to lose weight through GMD because I don’t have time to hit the gym .I want a new job which would leave me with some time for myself”.

Few months later…………

New, better job..more time for self.. joined gym…but……….

“This is not a good gym. I want a better one”. I silently prayed she dosen’t resort to GMD again.

And her wish list continues till date.

Akash wished, God wouldn't have snatched his wife to leave their 5 year old son alone in his company.

Rohit wished, he could earn more and improve his family’s financial condition. He wished for a decent job.

I wanted to write more, but running short of time…may be I see this in a form of a book some day. (Ah, another wish !!)

Lord make everybody’s wish list come to an end, may be, some day.

Untamed

There was heavy blood shed. Brutal murder. My heart went out to those who lost their lives. My eyes were flooded with tears and I was a bundle of wreck. My heart was bleeding to see them die one by one. The bodies of the helpless men lied in pieces all over. Fire, dust, blood, weapons lay as an aftermath of the war. I couldn’t do anything but shed tears silently. The soldiers sacrificed their lives for their country. India must have been so proud of the brave hearts who didn’t think for a second to take the bullet in their chest and fight the enemies just for the country! Hats off to the brave soldiers. But loss of lives was definitely an irreparable loss. I felt helpless and so incapable of saving the heroes. It was sad, scary and a heart rendering view. The lights were switched on and the crowd started moving toward the exit. My cheeks were still wet after the super hit movie “BORDER” ended.

She was shattered. She was in tears. I hugged her and she cried like a baby in my arms. People around us stared at us. The man who was responsible for this, kept apologizing, but it was useless to say sorry post the great loss. The damage was already done.  She kept looking at what she had lost with swollen tearful eyes.  It was painful to part with the most loveable and precious possession. After all it had taken 6 tedious years to grow her beautiful hair waist long! The hair dresser felt like a criminal, ready to be blown apart by Preeti, to have her hair cut shorter than waist length. Tears kept rolling down her eyes the whole day.

It was Astami, the 8^th day of Durga Puja in 2000. Mom, sis, my bro and I were heading towards the Pooja baari for the grand celebration, when suddenly my bro’s shoe broke and we returned home to get it changed. My Mom was struggling with Abhijit’s new pair of shoes while the door bell rang loud. I rushed to collect the telegram from the postman. Mom covered her face with her palms. Abhijit was too young to understand the reason behind the ladies of the family crying. I had been courageous and fought my tears back till I went to Dad’s shop to inform him of Naani’s demise. Mom was inconsolable. The telegram was clutched in her hand, and tears kept rolling down her eyes the whole day.

Divya returned to the hotel room while talking on the phone. She saw my red eyes and tear stained face. Instantly she came to know what was wrong. Disconnecting her phone immediately, she placed her hand on my shoulder and politely said “Don’t worry, I am there with you”. These consoling words of her made me feel weaker and lonelier. That day brings tears to my eyes even today. She tried to cheer me up and stayed with me the whole night. I felt alone probably for the first time. The thought, to live alone for the first time, had scared me. I touched dad’s feet to seek his blessings. The moment dad kept his hand on my head, my heart almost skipped a beat. I had to live away from my family, manage everything on my own and “grow up”. Dad left me in Divya’s company, my closest friend now and my favorite roommie. I returned to the hotel room and cried for hours missing my family and feeling lost. It was my first job in Delhi and the first moment when I had to be away from my family. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks till Divya came.

Tears….Untamed tears…!!!