The first expert

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“God cannot be present everywhere, so he made mothers” is a very popular proverb which stands true.  For all mothers, their world revolves around their kids. In our growing stage, kids not only depend on mothers physically, but emotionally too. Every child’s best friend is a mother, because she is only person on this plant who can sacrifice herself for her child. My mother too sacrificed a lot to bring up her kids. She let go of her prospective job and never turned back to regret. An expert in fine arts, she wanted to be a handicrafts entrepreneur but situations did not allow her for the same. As her eldest daughter, I learnt the most valuable lessons of life. Mom was an expert in fine arts. She quit her field and chose to be a housewife looking after her family and house. I call her an expert homemaker. I imbibed that quality from her and learnt to be a perfectionist. Be it cooking daily meals for family or painting on canvas, mom left no room for mistakes. If she wasn’t satisfied with her work, she would say it aloud. Unknowingly she taught me “how to be a perfectionist”.

I still remember how I painted my first drawing of a landscape scenery on paper. I still remember how she praised my efforts. I still recall that day when my own painting made me feel so excited that I went running around in the house showing my painting to every family member. And it was the beginning of my bend towards Art & Craft where I never scored less than an “A”. Thanks to my expert Maa.

In my teens, I was never fond of working in the kitchen. My mom never forced me to learn cooking. She rather wanted me to focus on my studies and extracurricular activities. One fine day, she got me into the kitchen to teach me how to cook. Before I even asked why, she explained that I should learn cooking not for any body else, but my own self. Her idea of a teen girl cooking was to make her independent if she stays away from parents, unlike neighbors or relative aunties who wanted girls to cook so that they impress her in-laws! “Oh, cut the crap” my mom negated all negative thoughts and concentrated on teaching me basic cooking. That first lesson of kitchen came handy when I moved to Delhi to pursue masters and stayed in a rented flat. My classmates loved the daal & subzi I used to get for lunch. Thanks to my expert mom once again. The Memories of making daal for the first time still remains fresh in mind. Though technically Maa did all preparations and I just stirred the content in the pan in the end, she gave me all credit for making daal the first time. The process got registered in my mind and became daal cooked by me became the favorite of my classmates. That’s how an expert guides and polishes you!

Maa played Santa on one Christmas eve. We are not Christians but do believe in celebrating all festivals with equal enthusiasm and love. As my brother and I woke up on the morning of Christmas, we had a gift box besides our pillows! Too young to understand that it was Maa, we kept believing Santa exists, till we grew up. The pleasant memory makes me nostalgic now.

She scolded us, was strict with us and even went mad at us for being careless students. But all the scolding was compensated on birthdays when she used to take all pains of baking cake, cooking and decorating the house for 20 people invited for birthday party. Managing so much single handed is an unimaginable task. Hats off to Maa for being a superwoman. She made us feel special..she made us strong. Whatever I am today, I owe to her. Love you Maa!

Mothers- My experts

Participating in Godrej My first expert on Indiblogger, Linked to http://godrejexpert.com/single_used_pack.php

Mothers are our first experts and we rely on them even before we are born, because she is the one who brings us to the world. I never saw my mother as I lost her the same day I opened my eyes. The doctors had given her a choice to save herself or me. She chose to save me. My father played the role of mom and dad both and never made me feel alone, till I started going to school and saw moms dropping their kids to school. My grannies (both daadi and naani) stepped into my mom’s shoes to nurture me. At times my aunts (bua or mausi) would drop in during my school vacations to look after me. I have seen so many women playing the role of mothers in my life. I learnt lessons from each one of their contribution.

Most of our holiday trips to nearby hill stations during my summer vacations were fun for everybody because of my Mausi. “Why did you pack warm clothes? Its summers!” I often heard my dad pulling her leg. “Weather of hill stations is funny. We may need woolens any time you see,” my Mausi used to reply with utmost confidence, as if God had told her in person about the weather changes. Her expertise in predicting the weather proved to be right always. I still follow the golden hill-station rule of Mausi and get saved!

People say that my Mausi resembled my Mother. I saw my mom's picture from her youth. I was excited to see so much resemblance in the sister's faces. Apparently I relied on her for my homework, my dressing up, holiday projects and every little thing. She took me in her warm embrace when I went to her crying about the first blood stains on my clothes. She taught me how a teen grows up with these natural changes in body and how I should carry myself. My first lessons of personal hygiene came from Mausi. The memories are still fresh in my mind.

Its true mothers are worriers by nature. They tend to over think  because they care. Their concern for others converts into stress. While bua’s stress and concern for me brought us closer, it did upset me many a times. A call in the middle of an interview or at any odd hour, did irritate at times but it was more than welcome because I would do the same whenever I missed her. Bua has been the kindest soul who guided me each time and taught me to be fearless. She advised me to raise a hue & cry or even slap a guy if eve-teased. On one instance she thrashed our neighborhood’s boy for passing lewd comments on teen girls. I felt sorry for the guy. Perhaps he was only humming a Bollywood item number. Since that incident, he was never heard singing again and I learnt to confront such situations bravely, guarding my dignity. Thanks to my motherly Bua who is an expert, just like my mother would be.

I moved to Chandigarh for graduation. Each time I made a trip to my home town, the only person who showed concern, besides making a fuss for my health, was my granny. For some reasons unknown, she always found me mal-nutritioned and thinner than before, as if I was on a weight loss spree (which I was not). I had a hard time convincing her against all the notions that she had convinced herself with. Undoubtedly I lost the debate every time. Yet I loved the attention that I got on those home trips.

Now that I am married and stay far away from all of them, the cycle of care and stress has not stopped. Besides my granny, bua & mausi, now it’s my mother-in-law who keeps worrying about anything and everything. Not only my busy schedule at work gives her stress, my not-eating-right and travelling to work also give her enough reasons to worry. Ouch, wasn’t one mother was enough to do the stress-job?  But I feel blessed to have the company of so many motherly figures around me who have taken care of me like their own kid. God took away my biological mother but blessed me with 3 more ladies, (4^th one now is my mom-in-law) so that I don’t feel alone.