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Monday, May 10, 2010

Untamed

There was heavy blood shed. Brutal murder. My heart went out to those who lost their lives. My eyes were flooded with tears and I was a bundle of wreck. My heart was bleeding to see them die one by one. The bodies of the helpless men lied in pieces all over. Fire, dust, blood, weapons lay as an aftermath of the war. I couldn’t do anything but shed tears silently. The soldiers sacrificed their lives for their country. India must have been so proud of the brave hearts who didn’t think for a second to take the bullet in their chest and fight the enemies just for the country! Hats off to the brave soldiers. But loss of lives was definitely an irreparable loss. I felt helpless and so incapable of saving the heroes. It was sad, scary and a heart rendering view. The lights were switched on and the crowd started moving toward the exit. My cheeks were still wet after the super hit movie “BORDER” ended.

She was shattered. She was in tears. I hugged her and she cried like a baby in my arms. People around us stared at us. The man who was responsible for this, kept apologizing, but it was useless to say sorry post the great loss. The damage was already done.  She kept looking at what she had lost with swollen tearful eyes.  It was painful to part with the most loveable and precious possession. After all it had taken 6 tedious years to grow her beautiful hair waist long! The hair dresser felt like a criminal, ready to be blown apart by Preeti, to have her hair cut shorter than waist length. Tears kept rolling down her eyes the whole day.

It was Astami, the 8th day of Durga Puja in 2000. Mom, sis, my bro and I were heading towards the Pooja baari for the grand celebration, when suddenly my bro’s shoe broke and we returned home to get it changed. My Mom was struggling with Abhijit’s new pair of shoes while the door bell rang loud. I rushed to collect the telegram from the postman. Mom covered her face with her palms. Abhijit was too young to understand the reason behind the ladies of the family crying. I had been courageous and fought my tears back till I went to Dad’s shop to inform him of Naani’s demise. Mom was inconsolable. The telegram was clutched in her hand, and tears kept rolling down her eyes the whole day.

Divya returned to the hotel room while talking on the phone. She saw my red eyes and tear stained face. Instantly she came to know what was wrong. Disconnecting her phone immediately, she placed her hand on my shoulder and politely said “Don’t worry, I am there with you”. These consoling words of her made me feel weaker and lonelier. That day brings tears to my eyes even today. She tried to cheer me up and stayed with me the whole night. I felt alone probably for the first time. The thought, to live alone for the first time, had scared me. I touched dad’s feet to seek his blessings. The moment dad kept his hand on my head, my heart almost skipped a beat. I had to live away from my family, manage everything on my own and “grow up”. Dad left me in Divya’s company, my closest friend now and my favorite roommie. I returned to the hotel room and cried for hours missing my family and feeling lost. It was my first job in Delhi and the first moment when I had to be away from my family. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks till Divya came.

Tears….Untamed tears…!!!

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