Kelloggs teaches buddy parenting

Little Rahul filled in the slam book slowly, reading every question carefully. It was a cute thing for an eight year old kid to fill in “MY DAD” in the blank for “Your best friend”. I asked him how was dad his best friend, to which he replied innocently, “He plays football with me. Dad lets me buy fruits of my choice. I eat and exercise with him.”

“Exercise? You exercise with your dad?” I was stunned.

“When he goes for jogging, I also run with him. Dad told me jogging is the best exercise” Rahul said licking his chocolate. His dad arrived in some time to pick little Rahul from the crèche and he ran to him, dropping his lunch box. Rahul’s father picked up the lunch box, nodded to me with a smile and politely asked me if Rahul was naughty or misbehaving in the crèche.

“Not at all. He is friendly, shares his stuff with other kids, and does not fight at all. You have given him the right values with buddy parenting Mr. Kapoor,” I appreciated Mr. Kapoor, Rahul’s best friend.

That is how every parent of modern time. “Getting involved” is the key to the same. Unless you step into the world of your kids, how on Earth would you understand him/her? Likewise, get kids involved you, behave like their friends, else the generation gap might keep increasing, and you would say “Kids don’t listen. They are beyond control”.

Spare the rod and spoil the child, many years ago had raised questions everywhere. So, buddy parenting is the safest bet, where an active participation of both parents and kids actually unlocks childhood. Unfortunately, the upbringing of kids was very different during my time. There was cordial relation between my parents & me sans friendliness. To me, my parents were my guardians whom I was scared of, but not someone whom I could share my secrets with. Yes I loved them, but could not express. Same was for my parents. Today when I look back into time, I realize there was a lack of openness, unlike the current times, where parents treat their kids like their buddies.

Today's mothers, whether working or housewives, get involved in their kids’ lives actively. Befriending their kids friends or helping kids with their homework and in return learning the latest gadgets creates a strong bond between the two. Such things actually nurture kids with the correct values from the beginning. One of my close friends' mother proudly shares with me her secret of kids' bonds and her. She taught her daughter unique easy recipes and in return learnt computers from her. Auntie does not depend on anybody for a printout or google an article, while Nidhi, my friend has won several hearts with her cooking skills taught by auntie. They confide in each other and guard each others' secrets. Nidhi grew up as a happy kid, with her mom as her best friend besides her.  They play video games together! Such is the magic of buddy parenting.

I have often heard parents scolding their kids when they ask for a cycle or bike. The argument that parents went to college in bus or walked for miles to reach school, is absolutely irrelevant. Times have changed. You might have used typewriters in your young days. Your child will not use a typewriter just because you did. So you see, a bike or a cycle may be a necessity for children. Ask them, understand their needs before shutting them up.

Chocos ad featuring Juhi Chawla is a perfect embodiment of the right values. As Juhi’s son teaches her palying video game, he loses to her. The smart mom subtly teaches her son that to win or lose is a part of the game. And the duo spring to their feet for another match! A mutual and loving relationship with buddy parenting is displayed here.

Lets be buddy parents to our kids so that they are confident, happy and open.

Dil ki deal

I am participating in the #DilKiDealOnSnapdealactivity at BlogAdda in association with SnapDeal

It was my first job and my first stint in Delhi, alone, away from my family. What was it to stay alone was a new experience. During the job induction, it was made crystal clear to us to refrain from taking leave for the first six months. My heart fluttered, mind toppled and eyes welled up. The following month was Diwali and the thought of being alone that day struck me like a thunderbolt. I did not even know how to conduct a full-fledged puja on such occasions, let alone celebrating it with people. Plus I had no friends In Delhi who would accompany me or ask me to be a part of their family on Diwali. After all, Diwali in India was a family celebration. The HR manager continued to enlighten us with the company policies while I swallowed the lump in my throat and pretended to be normal.

Days passed by and I breezed through my training period. One part of me was excited and eager to explore a new city, while the other part of me missed my family. Every day either of my parents would call me asking me if I was okay, had my meals on time, attentive to my job or not and a never ending list. Indian families are emotionally bonded and I understood the value of the bond then.

“I have made sweets & namkeen, but I don’t feel happy without you. I wish you had an off on Diwali” my mom said painfully one day over the phone. I felt helpless as my job did not allow me to take leave for the next 6 months. My training batch mates discussed shopping, sweets and crackers, while I had no idea where and with whom to go for shopping. I stopped thinking about festival and tried to concentrate on my job.

Days approached quickly with Diwali being just three days away. Within a month of joining, I cleared training and waited for the "on the job training", popularly called OJT, where-in we would learn while working with mentors. My mentor David, half French half Indian, guided me. “All well?” he asked as he noticed me feeling low one day.

“Ya all well, just missing my family. Won’t be with them during Diwali for the first time,” I replied as I was almost on the verge of crying.

“Oh Diwali! Yes I have heard about this festival of lights. My mother often told me about it when I was young. Why don’t you go home then?” David asked me.

“Trainees are not eligible to take leave on Diwali David. I joined a month ago,” I replied in the most unenthusiastic voice.

“Chill! Who will mentor you when your mentor is not present?” he winked.

I squinted my eyes at his face.

“Arey baba, go home. I am taking off for 3 days. No company will penalize you when you take leave. They would only deduct your salary. Choice is yours.” He resume to tap the laptop keyboard.

I could not sleep the whole night. David’s words kept ringing in my ears. I got up in the middle of the night to shuffle my luggage. Next day I reached office with a small bag stuffed with clothes. David smiled at me and gave a thumbs up. I did not inform my parents about this little surprise. I left from office in the evening, bought a box of sweets on the way and boarded a bus from Interstate Bus Terminal for my home-town.

I reached my hometown on the morning of Diwali. As I rang the doorbell, a stream of thoughts choked me. I had actually rebelled in my first job! I had followed my heart to see that smile on my parents face. I braved the harsh company policies to be with my family on Diwali. I gave a damn to my job. Special thanks to David to guide me on the HR policy know-hows.

I snuggled in mom’s warm embrace as she sobbed with happiness. A box of sweets with my first salary, a wonderful surprise on Diwali and moments of joys. It was magic. I still remember that sweet day of the year 2003.

Look up

While toying with the idea of relocating to the U.S for a job, Anirudh was not only worried, but reluctant too. His new employer had hired him at higher salary and promised better perks, but the job required him to move out of Kolkata. Leaving his home town, parents, friends and his lifetime’s memories for a new place, made him jittery. To search for a new house or to stay in guest house, to cook on his own or hire a cook, to stay alone or with room partners, to adapt to a new lifestyle, totally different culture, to manage  everything alone; these thoughts bothered him as he spent sleepless nights before accepting the new job offer.

Yes he had reasons to worry but his career was also at stake. As his elder sister I could gauge how his mind wavered between his job and family. To leave ailing parents behind for a new job was indeed difficult. I was married and had relocated to Delhi. I visited Kolkata for few days and I could sense the uneasiness on Anirudh’s face, no matter he tried to conceal this thoughts with his cheerful smile. I counselled him to accept the job opportunity. He was reluctant and did not seem convinced. Two days later, he came to me with an envelope in his hand. He seemed to be relaxed. “Ki holo?” (What happened), I asked him.

“I rejected the job offer” he said with a smile.

“Why? This was a great chance you always dreamt of! Are you crazy?” I exclaimed.

“I won’t leave my parents for a job. It’s just a job. I told that to my employer and they agreed. I can stay here in Kolkata and work for as on off-site employee. See, I rejected them, but they accommodated my needs. Didi, I knew my priorities and I was positive that my employer would agree to my terms and conditions. Why should I leave my home. I get my energy and happiness when I see my parents.”

I was stunned by his reply. What great optimism was my brother full of! I felt proud of him.

Years later, I was back to Kolkata in city hospital to attend to my father after he met with a stroke. I sobbed as Ani hugged me in the hospital during dad’s heart surgery. The doctors had reported 70% arteries blockage. In the critical situation when Mom and I were a nervous wreck, we could regain our strength and hopes with Ani standing by our side, silent but steady.

Our cousins were there in the hospital to support us. To cheer up everybody, Ani cracked jokes.

“How could you be not serious in this difficult time?” one of our elder cousins snapped at him. He was our uncle’s eldest son who was very close to our dad.

“Crying or worrying will not cure him anyway dada” Ani said calmly keeping his hand on his shoulder, transferring all his positive energy into the grim environment.

“Dad will be fine. Don’t worry. He will be healthy and hearty. Heart surgeries look complicated but trust me they are very common for doctors. Have a cup of tea”, and he extended his arm with cup of tea to calm us. The surgery was successful and dad recovered gradually. I am often amazed by the optimism that he carries and never feels low. What motivates him, even he does not know. All I know is that he is different and a very positive person who lights up everybody’s life with this cheerfulness and people look upto him for his optimism.

This post is part of  https://housing.com/lookup in association with indiblogger

Golden Memories-Bajaj Chetak losing its hold

“BULAND BHARAT KI BULAND TASVEER—HAMARA BAJAJ” was the popular slogan of Bajaj scooters which were a roaring success all over India. These lines make me nostalgic of my childhood days I spent taking rides on my dad’s Bajaj Chetak. Undoubtedly Old is gold and those memories are cherished forever.

Chetak happens to be special for my family in a special manner. Soon after my parents were married, in 1983, the registration papers of Bajaj Chetak arrived. My mom was termed lucky for the family and so was the scooter. Dad tried teaching mom driving the scooter, but it was too bulky for her to handle. She tore her saree while learning to ride Chetak. However she never let Chetak go.

I have the fond memories of dad dropping me to school on Chetak and picking me in afternoon. When I started growing I used to go walking yet remained dependant on Chetak during rainy days, waiting for dad to pick me from the school gate.

When my younger sister was born, dad got our Bajaj Chetak painted in dark green. Every major occasion in family would have been incomplete without Hamara Bajaj. Be it picking up somebody from some place, be it doing a small errand from the local market or be it any urgency, Chetak was present in every hour of need. Like a silent spectator and a strong supporter it never failed us. My dad was rushed to the hospital on the same scooter minutes before he met a stroke. How do I thank Bajaj Chetak for its support?

Its Performance made it outstanding and we were the proud satisfied consumers.

Mussorie, Sahastradhara, Rishikesh are few places at a distance of few kilometres from my home town Dehradun. We used to go for picnics there every summer vacations and dad used to prefer riding Bajaj Chetak to these places. My dad’s best friend Ashok Uncle also owned a Bajaj Scooter and he used to join us for picnics. My sis and I used to sit with Ashok uncle on his scooter and Mom of course with Dad. Those long rides to the picnics spots were so much fun through the green valleys and natural beauty. Not even once did Bajaj break down or cause a bit of a trouble!!

Bajaj Chetak had captured a major market share in India and it became a must have for every middle class Indian. Affordable prices, powerful engine, world class mileage made Bajaj Chetak class apart. Later followed Bajaj bikes keeping in mind the new generation. Yes agreed, the young MD must have studied and envisaged a huge profitable market for bikes, however there is still a section of people who identify themselves with Bajaj scooter. It will be unfair to separate them from the identity and something close to their hearts. Production of Bajaj scooter, I suggest, should not be ceased, rather can be streamlined or decreased.

UTTERLY BUTTERLY DELICIOUS-AMUL and BULAND BHARAT KI BULAND TASVEER—HAMARA BAJAJ were short listed for Guinness book of world records for the longest running ad campaigns. But Bajaj lost it to Amul pertaining to the changes they made.

When I say Old is gold, people would say that nobody sticks to typewriters or gramophones these days. However I would like to state that these old items of the past are of an aesthetic value. These unique items with golden memories should be kept alive with the common man than in museums instead.

23 Dec,2009 my second winning blog in indyarocks blog contest