Kelloggs teaches buddy parenting

Little Rahul filled in the slam book slowly, reading every question carefully. It was a cute thing for an eight year old kid to fill in “MY DAD” in the blank for “Your best friend”. I asked him how was dad his best friend, to which he replied innocently, “He plays football with me. Dad lets me buy fruits of my choice. I eat and exercise with him.”

“Exercise? You exercise with your dad?” I was stunned.

“When he goes for jogging, I also run with him. Dad told me jogging is the best exercise” Rahul said licking his chocolate. His dad arrived in some time to pick little Rahul from the crèche and he ran to him, dropping his lunch box. Rahul’s father picked up the lunch box, nodded to me with a smile and politely asked me if Rahul was naughty or misbehaving in the crèche.

“Not at all. He is friendly, shares his stuff with other kids, and does not fight at all. You have given him the right values with buddy parenting Mr. Kapoor,” I appreciated Mr. Kapoor, Rahul’s best friend.

That is how every parent of modern time. “Getting involved” is the key to the same. Unless you step into the world of your kids, how on Earth would you understand him/her? Likewise, get kids involved you, behave like their friends, else the generation gap might keep increasing, and you would say “Kids don’t listen. They are beyond control”.

Spare the rod and spoil the child, many years ago had raised questions everywhere. So, buddy parenting is the safest bet, where an active participation of both parents and kids actually unlocks childhood. Unfortunately, the upbringing of kids was very different during my time. There was cordial relation between my parents & me sans friendliness. To me, my parents were my guardians whom I was scared of, but not someone whom I could share my secrets with. Yes I loved them, but could not express. Same was for my parents. Today when I look back into time, I realize there was a lack of openness, unlike the current times, where parents treat their kids like their buddies.

Today's mothers, whether working or housewives, get involved in their kids’ lives actively. Befriending their kids friends or helping kids with their homework and in return learning the latest gadgets creates a strong bond between the two. Such things actually nurture kids with the correct values from the beginning. One of my close friends' mother proudly shares with me her secret of kids' bonds and her. She taught her daughter unique easy recipes and in return learnt computers from her. Auntie does not depend on anybody for a printout or google an article, while Nidhi, my friend has won several hearts with her cooking skills taught by auntie. They confide in each other and guard each others' secrets. Nidhi grew up as a happy kid, with her mom as her best friend besides her.  They play video games together! Such is the magic of buddy parenting.

I have often heard parents scolding their kids when they ask for a cycle or bike. The argument that parents went to college in bus or walked for miles to reach school, is absolutely irrelevant. Times have changed. You might have used typewriters in your young days. Your child will not use a typewriter just because you did. So you see, a bike or a cycle may be a necessity for children. Ask them, understand their needs before shutting them up.

Chocos ad featuring Juhi Chawla is a perfect embodiment of the right values. As Juhi’s son teaches her palying video game, he loses to her. The smart mom subtly teaches her son that to win or lose is a part of the game. And the duo spring to their feet for another match! A mutual and loving relationship with buddy parenting is displayed here.

Lets be buddy parents to our kids so that they are confident, happy and open.

Together, a beautiful "We"

On the highs and lows together

I knew you when our friendship was so raw,

we shared the same skipping rope,

hung on to the same sea-saw.

The memories still brew fresh in my mind,

when we left others behind,

in our notorious pranks on our neighbors

and we loved our life's spicy juicy flavors!

Partners in crime scolded together

You stole money from your dad's wallet and bought ice creams for both of us,

which your parents came to know and created a lot of fuss,

I shared the scolding with you as we were partners in crime,

our bonding grew stronger which was never to sublime.

"Sisters"? our new teacher asked us on the first day to school,

"Yes" you replied with a smile on your face,

and since then in our lovely bonding,

ego had no space.

My mum made sure to buy anything double,

one for you, and  another for me,

because you and I together made a beautiful WE.

I smile when I look at the doll that you gave me on my 8th birthday,

I remember how I had treasured it,

never gave it to anybody to play.

secrets well guarded

Those little chits that we passed in our classroom,

fills me with nostalgia now, as I remember

how for our poor classwork we were reprimanded,

and how those secrets remained between us so well guarded.

Our late night conversation and gossip sessions,

together our homework and swimming lessons,

just brought out our best in us,

I had many friends, but none like you,

who made my life bright and beautiful too.

I cried when a kid pushed me on the playground,

You always lent me a shoulder

you pushed her on my behalf and turned the world around,

you lent me your shoulder when I cried,

and stayed there with me till my tears dried.

I grew dependent on you for almost everything,

including my mood swings and solution to my problems,

you patiently counselled me to be a calm person,

and so well handled all my tantrums.

No, I was not a spoiled child at all,

it was just that while growing up there was not a single day I did not see you,

it was you who understood my condition whatever I went through.

The thought of parting with you was a nightmare,

but someday that would happen, you were aware.

My heart skipped a beat, to know you will be far from me,

but you consoled me each second with your words

saying "Distance does not matter, together we still make a beautiful we"

Friends forever

We were inseparable since childhood,

till the day you left to a different city for higher studies,

we were torn physically apart,

yet the best buddies.

Poem dedicated to my childhood and best friend Namita, who is in Australia now, leading a happy married life. I love you Namita and feel blessed to have you as my best friend. Could not write more lines on you as my eyes just brimmed up,

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The last remains

The stuffed suitcase was difficult to close.(She still does not have an almirah after so many years. She is ok without one anyway). She started pulling out the crumbled clothes which were shoved in the suitcase without washing since a week. Neha barely got time to wash her clothes during weekends. She thought of cleaning the suitcase at the same time.

Out came the red shirt which she had not worn since long.

A blue T-Shirt which had faded in patches.

An orange kurta that dint fit her anymore, yet she refused to throw it away because it was gifted by Megha, her dear younger sister.

A pair of worn out black jeans, shoved in the suitcase waiting for repair.

“Discard!” sighed Neha and piled the discarded clothes. Another pile was taken out to be washed. Neha dusted the edges of her suitcase. Slowly she pulled out all other clothes from the pale blue V.I.P suitcase which her mother had given to her when she first came to Jaipur from Patna. Light weight suitcases were not available during those days. A shy Neha had come to the pink city in search of a career as Patna was void of jobs then. A small village was where she was born and brought up and obtained high education despite pressures of getting married after she graduated from 12th standard. She shifted from one rented room to another in the span of her five years tenure in Jaipur. The suitcase too shifted with her. It was her mother’s wedding gift, so she could not have discarded it anyway. Neha thought of changing the newspaper laid at the bottom of the suitcase under the pile of clothes. It was dated way back in the year 2003. It had turned yellow and old with age. (It couldn’t have been older than the suitcase). She pulled out the torn newspaper from the suitcase to replace it with a fresh glossy newspaper. A bundle of envelopes and papers lied silently under the newspaper, resting peacefully & untouched. Were they not cared for or preserved carefully? Her hands reached for the stack of papers and she unfolded them one by one.

------------------------------------------

30 Sept, 2003

Dear Di,

Hope this letter finds you in the best of your health and spirits. I have soooooooo much to talk about. I am wondering where to start from 

First of all note my new yahoo id megha2001@yahoo.com. Now we can chat whenever we get time to come online. I am soo happy! But the only problem is that internet café is a little far from our house and Baba does not allow me to go there alone. Had u been here, he would have never stopped me.

Mmmmmmmmm I miss u, sachhi !! By the way did the kurta fit u? I made it as per your choice, v shape neck and full sleeves, and its ur fav colour! I am almost through with the hobby classes, likely to get the diploma within 2 weeks. Now I can make good embroidery too. U shud see the cushion covers I made. Maa is full of praise for me  :-) And a piece of good news now! A new Mc Donalds outlet has been inaugurated in the city. We will have a treat when u come next time and m sure u will love it. I m quite excited about it. Rest all is well here. Baba has recovered completely from the stroke. Now he goes for a morning walk daily. Good na? I will take Maa also for morning walks soon. But u know how shy she is.

Hope u r taking care of ur health too. Maa keeps reminding u to have fruits. I will be joining u within few years and become a famous fashion designer. And I stepped on the threshold of my dream only because of ur support. I love u a lot.mmmmuuuaaah!!

Chalo, I wont make the letter lengthy now. U better take care of urself and don’t worry about us. We all are fine and want to see you soon.

Loads of love,

Ur Meghu

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Neha smiled. She picked up the next letter.

18 Oct,2003

Dear Di,

Hi! How are you? We are fine here. Don’t get worried about me yaar. I will recover soon. It was just a stomach ache, that’s it.

I have designed a beautiful skirt for u.(Maa wont allow u to wear it here. U take it with u in Jaipur ok?) U remember Tanu, my classmate? She is getting married next month! My god, I cant imagine how cud she agree to get married so early? Shez just 18!! I was shocked. She has no aim in her life or what? Bloody aimless female! I will become a fashion designer and make everybody feel proud of me one day.

Ok lets change the topic. Did maa tell u that we would get our house painted this Diwali? I want my room pink in colour :-) ok don’t frown, we can get it done half pink and half orange hehe!

Baba bought a new kitten for the godown. The kitten is sooooooo cute and fluffy. I have named it snowhite. It’s a smart kitten di. Its killed so many rats of the godown. I will mail u its pictures wen I go to the café next.

Maa went to a pandit to show ur kundali. He said that marriage is still not on the cards. I was quite relieved to hear that. U deserve more in ur life yaar. I am happy that u studied and went out of this small place. I will do the same. My exams are due next month. I will crack the entrance exams, wish me good luck. Love

Urs MEGHU

.......................................................................................

2 Dec,2003

Hi Di,

Dint get time to write since a long time. Sorry for that.

We all missed u a lot during Diwali. Ma was cribbing that I mess up more than helping her. Hehehe! How perfect are u, I realized then! We are incomplete without u yaar. I know it was difficult for you to take leaves since u recently joined office. Its difficult to make Maa understand though.

Hey, we got our house painted before Diwali, and guess what, our room has been painted in ur fav colour. Now come on, thank me :-) I wish I could say all this to over the phone, but u know how high the STD call rates are na.

Snow white has grown bigger and cuter than before. Lovely cat it is. Well, Maa must have told u everything. I am ashamed of myself Di. I wanted to appear for the entrance exams this time. I was so well prepared. But that stomach ache was so severe that I couldn’t bear the pain. Doc said that it was only gas. Maa is getting worried unnecessarily. The ultrasound reports will arrive within next few days. So till next year of entrance exams again, I asked baba to get me enrolled in B.A correspondence from IGNOU. Good idea yeah?

U know, Ravi Uncle has been paralysed waist down. Poor uncle, he’ll never walk on his own now. Aunty is a very strong lady. She did not loose her courage at all. She has started working in a school and supporting her family. Maa often visits them with cooked food. I feel sorry for Ravi uncle. His kids are so young ya. But hats off to auntie for being so brave. Nobody in the neighborhood is as bold as her.

Hey Di, whts ur plan for new year? If u can manage leaves then, please come na. Spent Diwali without you, don’t want to spend New year without you. U r the jaan of our family, u know that. I miss sleeping with u. Pillows cant fill the empty portion of our bed. Often I wake up with a jerk thinking how much I miss cuddling you. Our room is half empty, half lively, our house is misses ur aura, ur noble presence. Now when the room is painted orange, it reminds me of u every second.

Ok I gotta sleep now. Feeling tired. U please take care and don’t worry about me.

Love u loads,

Meghu

............................................................

2 Feb,2004

Dear Di,

Hey! How have u been my sweety pie?

My medicines were very strong and I feel drowsy all the time. I hate the taste. But I am sure I will recover soon. Ulcer does not last for long na. Afterall I have been punished for eating excess spicy food. I recall you scolding me for eating spicy without limit. I am sorry I should have listened to you then. Maa tries to keep the room infection free, so every thing has been washed all over again. I have to eat boiled food, less salty no spicy. I am not allowed to meet Snowhite too. That bad. U ask Maa to let me go out of the house atleast. She will listen to you.

These days I am reading all the Sydney Sheldon novels u had left here. Now I find them interesting. He writes well seriously. But I don’t like to be confined to my room ya. It feels like I am imprisoned. I cant stitch or make embroideries. Anyway, Ma told me that you went to Ajmer? Kooooool….I will go with u next time. Heard a lot about that place. Let me recover once, then I will surely visit Jaipur and be with u.

Next Month u will complete 6 months na? U make us feel proud of u always. Baba never stops praising u in any social gathering. We love u all. Accha u know about Kaku di’s marriage na? Its in Kolkata in December and we all have to go, else Kaku di will be very upset. So apply for leaves in advance ok? And there is a surprise which I could not keep to myself. Baba will buy me a mobile phone as soon as I recover. Great na? Then we will chat and sms on mobiles instead of writing these long letters.

I hope I dint make it long this time. Will write again soon. M wondering hu will post this letter?

Anyway, love u love love.

Meghu

………………………………………..

Tears swelled up in Neha’s eyes after reading Megha's last letter. An undetected cancer  led to a wrong treatment and prolonged illness. Neha pulled the orange kurta close to herself. It smelled of Mehga, her presence, her full of life attitude, her smile, her last gift for Neha, whom she loved the most. Megha, who lost her life at a young age leaving her ambitions unfulfilled gave hopes to everyone, to live each day and smile even in the toughest times. Neha  quickly entered the bathroom to wash the pile of clothes.

She kept her promise. She did not cry. The orange kurta was put back in the suitcase with great care. And the letters one by one.

The last remains preserved again, carefully.

A lost friend

He would have been a grown up man today, probably working in an MNC or running his business. Or may be pursuing some professional course -of his choice, of something which he liked. But what did he like? What was he passionate about? Let me think….uh!! to hard to recollect..it was a long time back that I remember anything apart from his shy smile and dark eyes. And we were too young .  Students of second standard, Prashant and I were classmates and next door neighbours. I was a frequent visitor to his place to catch up on my missed class work or to play with him at times. His younger bro Ankush and a cute sister Gudiya were adorable siblings. Prashant was a quiet child and very shy, to such an extent that he refused to go to anybody’s place for school work or notes. His mom used to call me to their place and that’s how I became a regular visit at Prashant Singhal’s place. We became best childhood buddies , used to play often and do our home work together.

Singhals were a happy family. A happy go lucky family of our neighbourhood, as a child I had always seen them smiling and enjoying each moment of their lives till that unlucky day. I still don’t remember  the date..after all I was young. So was Prashant. I have the faded picture of his in my mind when I had saw him last evening. Well, actually the last evening of his life.

He loved cycling. That evening too, he went on his bicycle to enjoy the evening. (I think now I recollect one of his hobbies-Cycling. But how irrelevant is it now, I suppose). His grand mom felt quite restless when he did not return till late. His mom went crying to the police station with his dad to report Prashant’s missing from the place where he had gone cycling. The whole night saw a tensed Singhal family, probably for the first time. I remember my mom worrying about him and peeping into the Singhal house every fifteen minutes. Prashant’s father was frantically wandering on the streets with his scooter to search for his eldest son. It was a terrible night for everybody.

And the news arrived, the next morning..of what I guess most of them had anticipated. Prashant’s body was fished out from the manhole right outside the construction site of their new house. Time of death- late evening.Last remains- his slipper in the right foot and his cycle outside the house. What pushed him to his death was the reason that he was not accompanied by anybody to the construction site where the open manhole invited his death while he was jumping over it, all by himself. Days passed mourning and wailing in the Singhal house grieving over the irreparable loss of the eldest son of the family.

Soon, things started turning normal and Prashant started fading from the memories of everybody. Yesterday when I was talking to my brother Tarun (catch him at tarunisblogging.blogspot.com) he sounded upset. He too was grieving over the loss of his facebook friend whom he had befriended three days ago. Consoling him, suddenly Prashant’s thought struck me. Had he been alive, he would have been somebody like me.

I can’t say I miss Prashant, however I do feel that every human life is meant for something, lives for a purpose and creates a void after he leaves. I was too young to feel that void, but I do feel bad that he left the world much before he could see anything.

God bless your soul my friend.

This was an ode to Prashant Singhal.