I am a writer, a blogger, a food and travel enthusiast, wellness pro, digital influencer and story teller rolled into one.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Mr. X to Mr. Right
“This blogathon is supported by Woo, The most popular match making app in India with a base of over 3.5 million users.”
I did not want to get married because my parents wanted. Neither did I want to get married because the clock was ticking away. I wanted to get married only when I get the right person. But the big question was- How do I know he is right? Was there a universal criteria to judge men by their behavior or thinking? Or was there a questionnaire for all those prospects there? Wooh! It was indeed tough!
The hunt for the right alliance began when I turned 25; just the age when parents want to see their daughters married. I being a rebel, rejected all alliances forwarded to me by my parents. How could I let them decide for my life partner? This was ONE decision I always to take on my own and not let anybody else control my destiny, even if they are my parents.
Reeling under pressure and fed up of taunts from my panicky mom, I found myself searching grooms online! I created an online matrimony account, read profiles, chatted with few, made friends with few only under the condition to take some time in knowing them. I met at least twenty prospects. Sounds like a huge number yea?
Excited and with heart fluttering over the first meeting nervousness, I met the first guy. A civil engineer by profession, the tall, good looking boy loved to debate. Soft spoken, intelligent and witty, I fell for him instantly. Things would have been nice only if his location factor was not in picture. His job required him to stay on the outskirts of Ahmadabad, whereas my career would have come to an end. I was unwilling to relocate to a remote village. He admitted he liked me and insisted to talk to my parents but I was tight lipped. I held back myself, oscillating between marriage and career. Eventually we drifted away from each other, only to receive news of his marriage to somebody else ofcourse! That was obvious and this lead to the end of a chapter "Mr X to Mr. Right".
Saddened by my first experience of searching for Mr Right that went wrong, I continued the journey further. After-al, life is full of stumbling stones and you should never give up.
Meeting with the second guy happened soon. Mr. X's decent looks, same field of job as mine, similar
interests and fitness consciousness made me feel an instant connection with him. He was talkative, I was the quiet one. We both loved reading and once again I felt he was THE guy I waited for! The happiness was short lived when he suddenly went out of touch. Post a gap of two months Mr. X reconnected with all real-sounding reasons like a relative's accident in US, father unwell, travelling and so on. Thinking to give him another chance, I accepted his all excuses.But I should have known! I should have thought how could a media person not have a social account? With a push from my sixth senses, I fished out his social media account. I should have known, when a guy refuses to add you in his friend list, something's not right. I should have known he was fooling me and would have fooled many other girls. He was engaged, waiting to get married in next few months. Between the time of his engagement and marriage, he'd thought of having fun hanging out with prospective brides! Upset and disappointed , all I could do was end the brief stint of so-called-love I felt with him. You can imagine what all I went through. I cried over my wrong selection. Uggh!!!
One of the other guys I met, had great sense of humor and loved traveling. But he confessed he would marry the girl chosen by his mom. What the hell he was doing on the matrimony website then?
Another guy's father called me, praising his good son and passed on his number to me. Thank God I did not talk to Sonny dear. In few SMS that we exchanged, he told me how he ran away from his hometown just because marriage did not interest him and how he does drugs each day. My stars saved me from a drug addict!
Another Mr X rejected me because I am vegetarian. So, what was he? A man eater?
There are endless stories which continued for some time before the final chapter.
Dejected and hopeless, I met another prospect. Just like other guys I had the same feedback for him. He was polite and well mannered (all guys are polite in the first meeting). We watched a movie, ate lunch together and called it a day.
I decided to know more about him and dated him for a while. He was not the typical protective or possessive type who would open the car door for me or ask if I knew cooking. He respected my decision of pursuing career post marriage. He was the only guy who asked if I knew any tact of self defense. "Because husbands or cops cannot fly to the mishap sites, so ladies should to be able to protect themselves before help arrives", he said. Wow! Now that was impressive.
Time flew and we became bonded well. He loved English songs which he used to play while driving. Once while dropping me home, I was surprised when he played Ghazals in car. When I asked him the reason for the change, he blushed! He had downloaded Ghazals for me :-) I found it cute. Secretly I had my fingers crossed. While discussing the way we wanted to get married, I revealed my thoughts. To get married like a princess is any girl's dream but I wanted a simple ceremony in the company of close ones and not spend lavishly. I wanted no loan or huge expense for show off in wedding. To my surprise he agreed. He was totally cool with the idea of saving money for future than spend extravagantly for guests who do not come to help in grave hours of need. My respect for him multiplied that day. The warmth, honesty and space that he gave in the relationship was extremely comforting. His sense of responsibility and vision for future was praiseworthy. There was no reason for me to reject him.
He called me one day to discuss something important. He wanted me to buy a health plan for myself and an insurance for parents. He was preparing me for emergency, which often goes neglected. I recalled my professor's debate topic during MBA tenure - "A perfect husband is one who prepares his wife for widowhood". This topic had raised many eyebrows but was worth thinking about. A shudder passed through me as he spoke about the insurance schemes. With welled up eyes the realization dawned upon me that HE was indeed MY Mr. Right. Within 7 months of dating Mr. X, we tied the knot in January 2015 and became my Mr. Right.